JSQUARED T

Mistakably Me

theprocrastinationstation — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 17:00:54 +0000

Going to McMaster was the biggest regret in my life. I didn’t know how much turmoil I have given to my family ’til now that I realize the big expenses I have to suck out of my parent’s pockets. The University itself is nice. I have adjusted well into the environment. I have reliable friends (or so they say), great professors and staff and gotten pretty good standing of my studies. But it’s the fact that I have to live far away from home and the fact that I have brought so much burden in my parent’s financial life that makes me want to get away from this supposed-to-be expensive university. I don’t want to be the reason why my older brother can’t go to school or my dad can’t put up an auto shop. I don’t want my parent’s money to be my future’s sake. Because the truth is… I am not sure of my future. I don’t know where my life is going. As days go by, it seems my dreams are fading away. And I don’t want them to spend all their hard work’s money on me just because they are faithful that I am going to be successful someday. What if I am not going to be successful? How would I ever repay them? I’ve brought so much turmoil in this family. I feel like a shit for not working. I feel like not studying at all because of this. I feel like an airhead when I’m in class. I feel as though I am lost in this society-driven life. All the mistakes, regrets will point to me. Why did I choose this and not choose that? I have to accept what’s what – because no one will.

I don’t want my life to have a future predetermined by society. I just want my life to be spontaneous and engaging without worries of the future.

I just want to be happy. Whatever happiness is to me.

Questions

theprocrastinationstation — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:14:58 +0000

What would mankind be today without Copernicus questioning the widely held belief during his time that the earth is the center of the universe? Would it be the same if Galileo, Mendel and Newton have not asked questions that were considered stupid or heretic during their time? Since the beginning of recorded history, many people think that asking question is showing one’s ignorance or uncertainty, and ridicule people who asked. But history proved us that there is no such stupid or silly question. In the past, humans have always contemplated and asked numerous questions about the universe. What makes the sky blue? Why do things fall on Earth? How did we become who we are? It is these questions that made remarkable advances in our civilization. It is the desire of wanting to learn more that advances our ever growing thirst for knowledge. In the scientific community, is it not that asking question one of the most important steps in the Scientific Method? Without asking questions, how can a scientist hypothesize and create an elaborate experiment to support his hypothesis? How can engineers learn to build new stable bridges without asking the question how the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapsed from resonance? It is through simple questions with our ability to reason and question that make the fabric of our society. As we try to understand the world around us, humanity should have boundless questions to ask.

Music, Musique, Musica

theprocrastinationstation — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:44:00 +0000

Besides my faith, playing music is my source of energy and inspiration. It has helped shaped my life and be the better person I am today. Music is where I can find relief and contentment in otherwise stressful day. It is my way of expressing thoughts and emotions by enjoying the beauty that lies within the melody. I still remember the day my parents bought my first instrument – a flute. Since then I was so passionate with music that I learned to play trumpet, saxophone, and piano in no time – without a formal training. I became a member of my school’s Jazz band which gave concerts for charity and in school events. In tenth grade, my parents were so proud that they bought me a piano; and every time we have a family party, my mother would eagerly ask me to play songs for our visitors. Ever since, music has been my refuge from the harsh realities and disappointments, and playing every note of it gives me the inspiration to continue my struggle and overcome any challenges. The excitement of finishing the music to the very end and the resulting gratification is akin to my journey towards accomplishing my goals in life. So, every time I come home from school I make it a point to hit some notes with my piano. Now that I live away from home, whenever I visit my parents in Toronto, I make sure that I play my piano before anything else. Music recharges my being. Every time I play a song, I always thank God how lucky I am to have an ear for music.